Sometimes when you feel angry you really just want to have some loud music on just so you can kind of – yeah – throw stuff around the room along to the loud music. So I put on Madness for that…I think it was when I was falling out with [-x-] I had Madness on…I sat there and I started throwing stuff around the room to get my anger out (track = Embarrassment) …
I go into my room . I’m feeling really p—-d off about the way girls behave and how bitchy they can be – about gossip, about what they think is right. I feel I’m in the right – I know I’m in the right and I don’t like my opinions not being heard. I put on Embarrassment cos it’s an aggressive track and I can kind of associate with it. I sit there for a while, brooding over it, and thinking about what I’d like to do to [-x-]. So I pick up some toys in my room and start throwing them around – I’m throwing them at [-x-] in my mind – I can’t see her but I can hear her. She’s taunting – she keeps dodging them, she never gets hit. I’m not aware of my room – I see it but I’m not really aware of it.
One of the people in Madness – there’s a girl who’s an embarrassment to his whole family, and he’s writing a song about that. [-x-] is the embarrassment – her and [-y-]. The voice is telling them off…I picture myself as him shouting at them… well as me, but with a man’s voice…it makes me feel more powerful cos it’s a rough cockney accent (ain’t it!).
That goes on for the whole track and then I look around the room and feel a little bit silly and begin to pick things up and put them back together. And then I just brood over it for a little bit. It [music] helps you to carry out your anger. It helps you to get rid of a bit of it.
Lily, aged 12.